phoenix dark: war journal

you heard it folks!!!
i am involved in venom.....yet, another secret orginaization in which i am not allowed to discuss our antics.....although, attempting to describe "venom" would be like that of attempting to describe the color blue to a person who is color blind......so you get the drift!!!
my friends inspired a great deal.....the people i surround myself with are often why i write in the first place, thus, new friends are always a way to break writers block.....the only problem is that i can't make friends on command....im not that cool......they come and go.....and i am glad to say i have a set of more homies!!!
to add to my very short list of REAL friends......if you are wondering who you are then i suggest to you refer to my myspace top eight.....or if i keep casual contact with you on the weekends i can easily call you my friends as well....i love you all....i need to start writing again!!!

i still live with my moms and pops.....although they are wonderful and amazing individuals....they rule my enitire life with an iron fist.....no, seriously...its that friggen bad....i rarely am allowed to do anytyhing cool (ie go camping or sleep at a friends pad)....and it seems that the more they know about my personal life they strive to control that too....they are my beloved creators....and also my uncooperative tyrants as well....
this is a picture of us.....don't be fooled...behind their eyes are the minds that fuel most of my post-teenage rage....alot of my anger is taken out on them in my book (better in a book than in real life)....i assume they'll know that im talking about them if this book ever gets out of the darkness of my room....i must say....they give me everything i need without ever giving what i truely want....and that is a crime....im a young man being denied my rights to go out and have a good time.....its silly....but its the friggen truth....
so usually i sit in my room and write stuff all night....and that's a big reason why im writing a book....instead of hanging out with friends and/or tricking a chick to be my girlfriend......my parents tyranny and my inability to enjoy life outside he walls of my bedroom slowly unveil the truth that is my life.....im slowly dying....alone and by myself....

i hate to end on bad notes....so here...

i started writing the book about a year ago.....i went through a series of epiphanies and i've come to the conclusion that my friends (and even)were the only things important to me.......i learned that its really not how i live my life, its who i surround myself with.....i wanted to create something that reflected how i felt....so i took everything around me as inspiration....and in this book i take my real life and blatantly imbelish reality.....making my life seem more interesting than it really is.....
it started when my little brother gave me a little black journal log for my birthday.....for the beginning stages i wrote only thoughts and ideas that i thought were too weird or taboo (i hate using that word) to bring up in public, especially around friends......as i got into it i was documenting whole days....but it was all boring as shit....so i started lying....alot....mainly i wrote something....that if i were to die and someone were to find my journal......the reader would think that im totally insane....
i was totally infatuated with death, i think i some respects i wanted to glorify death as a retrospective metaphor for bringing more life into the world.....
then i had this gnarly dream which would become the very first chapter......i don't feel like typing.........here's a random picture!!!

the REAL phoenix darkosiris of the azure sky, phoenix dark, and emanonvector mead

all of my friends....actual characters throughout the books and storyline.....i did this quick....but ill get into it as i go along.....the ill post more about what the book is tomorrow!!!!

'till then kids.....bye

hi im jeremy.....im writing a book.....please read it!!!